Kathleen Hogue, DRE
“We build on foundations we did not lay. We warm ourselves by fires we did not light. We sit in the shade of trees we did not plant. We drink from wells we did not dig. We profit from persons we did not know. This is as it should be…” Rev. Peter Raible

This quote Rev. Peter Raible is a good reminder that there were others who came before us that made it possible for us to have the faith community that we do today. And in order for our faith community to continue to exist, or better yet, to thrive, we must as Jesus said, “Suffer the little children…for of such is the kingdom of heaven”.

It is my job as a Religious Educator to grow lifelong UUs.  This is a most difficult task that not only involves the children but also involves the parents and even the entire congregation. So, I am here today to tell you why I love Unitarian Universalist Religious Education.  It is my hope that by the time I am finished talking to you today, you will love it too and want to become more involved.

Now, though it is not obvious from my accent, I was born not far from here In Ravenna, Ohio. But when I was three years old, my family moved to Nashville, Tennessee.

Growing up in Tennessee I went to a lot of churches, all different denominations.  Back then, my mother was considered a “Bible Thumping Church Hopper”. My sisters and I were often subjected to new people, new and strange ways of worship, new thou shall nots, dress codes, and the like.  We were often embarrassed for our mother thinking the reason she kept trying new places of worship was that she was just so full of sin that none of the places she went could get the demons to come out!

Later, as an adult, my first husband and I attended what was called a “Reformed” Baptist Church. For the life of me I could not figure out what was reformed about it. I always thought reformed meant new and improved. About five years into my second marriage, while living in Tucson, Arizona, my husband, Albert came home and exclaimed, “Let’s go to church!” “I thought we agreed to never say that word in this house”, I responded. He assured me that this was a different kind of church. I was not at all interested, but I loved him and trusted him so I went.

I will never forget that first day. My daughter, Katrina was five years old and her father and I had really kept her sheltered so it was kind of scary for her to be with other adults and children in her RE class, so I stayed and helped out in her classroom.  I helped the teacher with the story, activities, snack, singing…The next day I got a call from the RE Director.  She said they really needed someone like me to teach. She invited me to join a teaching team.  I laughed and informed her that I had never been to a UU church, knew nothing about it, and had no teaching credentials.  She told me that made me perfect for the job! I guess she was right because that was 21 years ago and look where I am now. I love teaching the UU principles, and Our Whole Lives Sexuality Education.  I love teaching UU history and leadership classes. I love doing social justice work with people of all ages. But through the years I have also learned what I call the ABCs of UU Religious Education.  These are what I believe it takes to raise a UU child.

The ABCs of Religious Education

Acceptance

Belonging

Community

Acceptance:

The word “suffer” in Early Modern English means to allow something or tolerate an action. But to me, toleration is not good enough.  What is important is acceptance. Tolerance is defined by Dictionary.com as “a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own. Acceptance is defined as “favorable reception; approval” One of the best lessons I learned about acceptance was through Neighboring Faiths.  This is a program in which UU Middleschoolers and teachers visit other places of worship.  About seven years ago in my congregation in Tucson, Arizona one of my parents came to me to tell me that his granddaughter, Claire was not going to be returning to our church.  Claire had been attending with her grandfather about three Sundays per month for more than three years. Thinking she was mad about something that had happened or someone had mistreated her, I sent her family an email and she herself responded. Here is what she said:

Dear Kathleen,

“Thank you so much for guiding me these past few years.  I really enjoyed the UU Church. I always felt accepted and welcomed there. The reason I am not coming back is that my Mom’s husband (my new dad) is a Mormon.  He has wanted me to go to his church but I wanted to find my own path and Neighboring Faiths gave me that opportunity.  Thank you for letting me check out all the denominations including the Mormon Church so I could decide on my own what to believe.  I did like the Mormon Church and felt accepted there.  Now I am going to go to church with my mom, dad and brother!”- Claire

Now you may think I failed Claire.  She left our congregation! But William Ellery Channing says this:  “The great end in religious instruction is to awaken the soul, to excite and cherish spiritual life.” As religious educators, our task “is not to stamp our minds on the young, but to stir up their own; not to give them a definite amount of knowledge, but to inspire a fervent love of truth; . . . not to form an outward regularity, but to touch inward springs.”

After Acceptance comes a sense of belonging. 

Belonging:

After I joined the Unitarian Universalist denomination things became a little more clear to me.  I soon discovered that the reason surrounding my mother’s wanderings was also the reason I stayed with Unitarian Universalism.  It all had to do with belonging.  Psychology Today says, “Having a sense of belonging is a common experience. Belonging means acceptance as a member or part. So this is something even more than acceptance.  It is when you are invited and welcomed to be a part of a group.

A sense of belonging is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Feeling that you belong is most important in seeing value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions.” Not only did my mother never feel accepted for who she was, as is without revision, she also never felt like she belonged. All of these churches wanted her to change. And there was, as far as she could tell, no one there that was like her.

In a class I led called Faith Like a River, we learned that to build a sense of belonging requires active effort and practice. One way to work on increasing your sense of belonging is to look for ways you are similar with others instead of focusing on ways you are different. After many years Mom finally found a church that accepted her and welcomed her in as well. She described the church members as family. That is also how I had felt before that day long ago in Tucson.  But that day, they welcomed me with love and acceptance for who I was even though I was not “perfect”.  They knew that all the parts of my heart were what made me who I am and they wanted to share their hearts with me as well.  What my mother and I both had found was community.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary gives several definitions of community including: “a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society, andan interacting population of various kinds of individuals in a common location.”

What comes to my mind when I hear that second definition of community is the dog park.  Now, when my dog Fi Fi is out for a walk and sees another dog, she acts very peculiar.  She barks, growls, lunges and jumps up and down…and so do the other dogs.  But, when I take Fi Fi to the dog park, it is completely different.  She runs through the gate to whatever dogs look like they are having the most fun and joins right in.  I sometimes imagine what she is saying: “Hi, how are you? Whatcha smelling? Want to dig? Need some help carrying that stick? Let’s play in the water! They all seem so happy and there are seldom fights.  You know why? It is because none of them are on a leash!

I think that when we are all together in our church community it is like we are off leash.  When we have and create a sense of belonging, when we love and accept each other, when we have common beliefs, and yet can still recognize and talk about our differences, that is what makes us a community.

“Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.” – Starhawk

Our congregation is a community that supports us in many ways. Together we seek knowledge, grow in faith, celebrate new life and life transitions like graduations, coming of age, marriages, and memorial services. We share our hopes, our dreams, our joys and our sorrows. we are given opportunities to be leaders. We talk about what is important to us, and we do service work together, connecting us to something other than ourselves.

What makes Religious Education so important?

The religious way is the deep way, the way that sees what physical eyes alone fail to see, the intangibles of the heart of every phenomenon. The religious way is the way that touches universal relationships; that goes high, wide and deep, that expands the feelings of kinship. – Author: Sophia Lyon Fahs

All of this truly takes a village. We are shaping the lives of children and youth, helping them to grow into the kind of persons our world needs. We are growing souls and growing a soul takes a lifetime. We are always teaching and we are always learning, together.

My former Minister, Reverend Diane Dowgiert says this: “Religious educators are the ones that children and youth turn to in times of trouble, when tragedy strikes, when they have joys to share, and when they have questions about life. Religious educators are often the ones that parents turn to with questions about how to best raise their children as Unitarian Universalists. While religious educators play a central role, they never do the work alone. It takes a village, as they say. If the purpose of participation in a church community is to do what William Ellery Channing called “growing a soul,” if our purpose in being together is to lead lives of integrity and worth, if our purpose is larger than our individual lives, if we strive to create a beloved community together, if we are to work to create the world beyond these walls to be one of compassion and justice, then religious education is all we do. We are always learning, always growing into the promise of this liberal religious faith. Religious education does not happen only in the classrooms, in the basement or in the sanctuary, religious education happens everywhere and every time we are together.”

What is in it for you, you may ask? Why do teachers teach in our UU congregations?

They teach because they want to nurture their own spiritual development.  What better way to learn about your own spirit than to teach others about theirs? They teach because they have a passion for social justice. What better way to change the future than to raise the next generation to care deeply about justice work? They teach because they have a need to connect and find a sense of belonging.  What better way is there to connect than to be a part of a community of love and support that is found in our RE programs?  Mostly I hear that our teachers come back year after year because they are committed to making a difference in our world. Yes, you can make a difference.

And that is what I love about UU Religious Education.

Come teach, learn and grow, and nurture your own soul as Unitarian Universalists with us.