Rev. Joseph Boyd
What I love about a church like this is we don’t need to pretend to have the answers to all the problems we face. But we do have a perspective, and we do have a series of commitments, that when followed transform the way we see and live our life. It’s not self improvement, per se. It’s actually more ambitious than that. It’s self transformation. It’s understanding ourselves enough that we can find our place in the flow of history, and we can take our place with dignity and trust during this time. For someone that place may be an elder, offering experience and caution. For some, that may be being a parent, nurturing and teaching the children of today what really matters. For some, it might be embodying solitude in a way that is open, compassionate, and connects us to the world. There are so many paths, and I think there is a path for each person at each stage of life.

I’ve been reflecting on the theme of last week of committing to a shared life together, and our ideas about what is happening inside us and outside us. I’m interested in where the meeting place of inside – out is. Nearly everyone I talk to is feeling some sense of feeling over-saturated. Some are losing a sense of hope in meaningful change. Some are wondering what the next appropriate actions are, and waiting, not sure what that is. Many are angry, upset, insulted. Some I talk to are living in a constant state of dread. And there are good number I talk to who don’t feel hopeless, don’t feel despair, they just feel full. They feel literally full of life from the inside out, like they’ve eaten a heavy meal, and another bite would make them sick. It seems and feels like there is such a great lack of support out there in maintaining life, liberty, and any kind of meaningful and lasting happiness. This is usually the time that people start checking out churches. Or if not church, some place that can help offer a perspective that will allow them to live through these times according to their values and their heart. If that is you this morning, you’re in luck. You’re in the right place.

I live in a home that was built in 1941, and so it doesn’t have modern insulation. So as the weather turned cool for a bit last week, I could feel the cold beginning to come inside. It wasn’t cold, just cooler than it usually is. It made me think how grateful I was to not be living outside. Even with older insulation, having an inside to live in, allowed me to live with relative ease, even if it wasn’t perfect. I live near a large city park, and on more than one occasion I’ve seen a doe and her fawn laying in our backyard. They live outside, and I peak at them through a window from inside my house. I stand in a room lit with electricity and a roof and observe a world that is literally feet away, but also outside in a different world.

Inside-out. It seems there is always a gap between what we feel, think, believe on the inside, and what we live on the outside. There is also so much going on inside us that we don’t seem to understand, and that we seem to have trouble controlling, thoughts and impulses that drive our life, while we often sit in the backseat witnessing what is happening in dismay.

Noticing this gap, I think is important. It’s important to notice where it feels there is a separation, where the line seems to be drawn between inside and out. A lot of people refer to that line as a boundary, and in many ways this can be helpful. Knowing where you end, and I begin, is very helpful in having compassion for ourselves. A boundary that is too amorphous can lead to a lot of pain and confusion. On the other hand, a boundary that is too rigid can make us feel isolated and cut off from other people.

Even for those who study the inner life in spiritual practice come to realize that most of the time we are simply confused. The more we look, the more murky and confusing our inner life seems to be.

Which is why I think having a commitment or vow is so important. Having a commitment gives us a bridge between the inside and outside. Having a commitment at the forefront of our living gives us direction even when we feel murky and confused. There is a lot happening outside right now. Fires are blazing. I and many others across the world are disheartened by the lack of accountability in the murder of Breonna Taylor. A report came out that less than 10% of the US population has had COVID-19, and we are at 200,000 deaths already. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the Supreme Court Justice who for decades balanced the courts, advocating for women, indigineous people, and the environment died recently. There is turf warfare happening on the streets of Portland, Oregon, and elsewhere. And there is more. It is no wonder many are feeling so over-saturated, and just filled up.

Having a commitment doesn’t immediately fix all these problems. It doesn’t make the problems we face go away. But it does help us find our place, it helps show us a path through that is uniquely ours, but with the support of a local and worldwide community.

Having a commitment does not give us the ability to control either our inner lives or the outside world. It does not guarantee we will get the outcomes we want. It does not guarantee that we will always prevail in the way we hoped. I’ve been wondering if we need a conscious commitment to even be able to see what is inside or outside. Otherwise I think it just becomes a blur, like living on a passing train watching the scenery go by. Without a sense of direction or destination, we might not know where we are, or what is required of us during this time.

I think not knowing what to do is really important and actually beneficial. I think it is important and beneficial that so many people are visibly upset by the injustice we are witnessing, not knowing what to do. Are we going to protest forever? Maybe, depends on your definition of protest. I think living by a commitment is a form of beneficial protest. It may look like going to a public rally, but the strongest aspect of a commitment is it gives us an orientation, a perspective toward living life. And the perspective that I think can guide us, as individuals and a world is incredibly simple. It’s so simple, you might even distrust it. It may not be exciting or exotic enough for you, but I think this simple commitment expressed uniquely for ourselves can give us a path, even as we stand at the edge of not knowing. Without further ado, here is the commitment: to be of benefit to ourselves and others. In this time of pain and hurt, asking ourselves: how may I be of benefit? It’s actually a good thing that we don’t know. It means we have a chance to see what arrives, fresh, and in this moment.

But I want to offer something even more concrete. I think one of the greatest benefits is being unafraid to need, and unafraid to love. Both of these are natural and over time seem harder and more complex. But they’re actually very simple. A child does this naturally, and as adults we need commitments in order to live naturally sometimes. Another way of putting this is being unafraid to ask for help, and being unafraid to offer help. To find our place, whether that place is being in a place of need, or in a place to offer support, or both. The truth is we are always living both. We rely on the outside to live.We actually need the outside world to thrive and live, as chaotic as it is.

We are always in a state of need. It’s actually our nature. Even as we mature and learn how to feed and clothe ourselves, that sense of need just gets buried deeper inside us, and waits for an opportunity to bloom.

I never thought of the relationship between need and love until now. Love is only real when we and others are able to receive it, and that receptivity is a form of need. When we commit ourselves to being alive,, to be fully alive, we accept this means vulnerable, full of need, full of love. In a strange way, we need the world as much as the world needs our commitment. The needs of the world and ourselves will be endless. I mean that literally. I think there will always be a sense of need, the needs of this world will never end. Our sense of need will never end. Both the world and ourselves will always be in a state of need, inside and out. This is not just good news, it’s great news.

This means there will never be an end to love. There will never be an end to our ongoing mutual support. We will need each other for eternity. Even when we’re not here, we’ll need each other. It will go on, this sense of need, this receptivity when love shows up. This will happen forever.

Love seems to thrive in a place of openness and not knowing. The place of not knowing what to do, the place of heartache and need, the place of despair before fresh hope has arrived. It takes the spirit of a child to show us this sometimes. It takes the spirit of a child to make us see our circumstances through a different lense, a lense that sees need as an opportunity not a failure. A perspective that sees the eternal need as natural, as a given, and as an opening for beneficial action.

We need help and so does the world. Our black and brown sisters and brothers need help. Those who have recently lost a loved one need help. Our country needs help. Our children need help. This could easily seem overwhelming, if we forget that need is eternal. It is without end.

But instead of this making us complacent, it can do the opposite. It can inspire us. Need, constant need is eternal, and that means love is constant, love is also without end. Can we open ourselves to receive that other dimension of our living? Can we open ourselves to receive not just the constant need, but the space where love might dwell, that intimate connection to need?

We have this day to participate in this great reality. It can be easy to be fatigued when we think it all depends on us. It doesn’t. If we can just get out of our way enough, natural processes unfold. Part of that natural process is accepting constant need as a given, as part of what it means to be fully alive, and to see this need as an opportunity, a unique opportunity tailored just for us in the place we are sitting or lying down to allow ourselves to love. It is truly a gift. A gift that we didn’t manufacture but is completely natural. Having a commitment opens up both the inside and the outside. It opens up the space inside and outside for need to arise. And in that place of need, love also arises.

Justice is an expression of that love, that response to need. Where there is need crying out in the streets, justice is not too far off. It is actually there in that very place, if we can find the spirit of the child again, the spirit that vanquishes cynicism and certainty. The spirit that is unafraid to need for eternity, and is unafraid to love for eternity. The spirit that is unafraid to see need, a spirit that is unafraid to offer love. In the place where we are there is a great need. It is a yearning for justice, a yearning for goodness and decency and protection. In that need crying out, there is an opening for a response. Will we commit ourselves to responding?