Kathleen Hogue, Director of Religious Exploration
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! (clap, clap)
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! (clap, clap)
“The purpose of life is not to be happy, said Ralph Waldo Emerson, it is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
There is no question that we all would like to be happy but sometimes our happiness can be replaced by other emotions such as anger and sadness. I believe Joy is more than an emotion. It is deeper and comes from a place within us. Traditionally this is the season of Joy. And joy can have different meanings for each of us. Joy is also an uncommon religious value. In Judaism its central role rests on the insight that “God’s presence does not make itself felt in a state of sadness or indifference or lightheartedness or distractedness but rather in the joy that comes from fulfilling a mitzvah (B.T. Shabbat30b).” The meaning of the Hebrew word mitzvah is commandment, but the generally accepted sense is that of a good deed. The emphasis is on deeds—not on positive thoughts or wishes, but on conscious acts of empathy and kindness.
Such joy, I believe, results only when our action no longer comes from a sense of obligation but from an inner personal desire. When I gave my children chores when they were very young, I often reminded them that doing the chores correctly meant doing them with a happy heart. This was something that I had read in the Bible…(Galatians 5:13) The Apostle Paul, echoing the words of Jesus, wrote “we are to serve one another from a heart of love.” As you love others and serve them, the amazing truth is that you will actually be blessed and filled with joy. There is also a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”
Knowing just how to serve others can be confusing… (Show Joy Video)
Some things I learned about serving:
Do not tell those in need what you are going to do for them, ask them what they need. I heard a story once about a remote village where a hurricane had completely devastated its inhabitants. When asked why they had sent a volunteer organization away they explained that the organization leaders wanted to give them food and clothing. They never asked what we needed. What we needed was help and materials to rebuild the fences we had around the village. We have plenty of food and clothing but the animals keep coming and eating all of our crops.
And after they tell you what they need, if it is not what you were expecting, if you are able to, do it anyway. When my friend’s daughter was dyeing in the ICU in Tucson a few years back my friend was consumed with making medical decisions, and talking with doctors and nurses about medication, treatments and possible organ donation. I thought with my previous experience I could help her with these decisions. But when I asked what I could do she expressed her overwhelming concern for her adult disabled son who was at home on his own and she asked me if I could just go be with him so she did not have to worry about him. And of course, that is what I did.
Listen to those you wish to help. Listen to their stories. Let them speak of their grief. Ask them about their hopes. It’s not about me! It is not about my problems or what I have gone through. When we serve, we look outside of ourself, beyond our own problems, and seek to bring value to others.
Do what you love and then use it to help others. Life has never been easy for me. It was a difficult childhood, and as an adult I have always struggled with poor health, financial issues as a single mom and sometimes what others might call bad luck. But all of my life, whenever I was able, I helped others. I happily helped my Uncle Todd for a couple of years after he suffered a stroke. I invited April, a sick congregant who was terminally ill with cancer to live with my family and was her caregiver until the time of her passing. My favorite place to serve is within this wonderful faith. Unitarian Universalism has allowed me to grow in the art of joy for more than 20 years now. I love art, I love literature and learning. And I have found a place where I can share what I love every day. In the book of John, we learn that during the last supper, Jesus got up from the table, wrapped Himself with a towel, and washed the disciples’ dusty, dirty feet (John 13:5). He then went on to teach that His disciples must follow His lead and serve each other. He promised that those who served others would be blessed (John 13:15-17). Much like Jesus taught his disciples to serve others, I get to teach children the importance of compassion and caring for others. This is my JOY!
This Essential Work of Justice and Liberation for All