“Becoming”

I have been reflecting on the story of Thomas Merton’s conversion to Catholicism while he was an undergraduate student at Columbia University. For those who don’t know, Thomas Merton was a Catholic monk who wrote extensively about contemplative life and practice, bridging practices with Buddhism and traditions beyond Catholicism, and active in both the Civil Rights an Anti-War movements of the 1960s, becoming known as “the conscience of the peace movement.” When he was first considering the religious life, a friend at Columbia University asked him what he hoped to accomplish. Merton’s response was “to be a good Catholic.” His friend told him that this was not ambitious enough, and instead should aim to be a saint. Over time this statement worked on Merton and led to him writing that “to be a saint means to be yourself.” We will explore Merton’s perspective in the play reading of “The Last Days of Judas Iscariot” that I hope many of you will attend this Friday and Saturday of Easter weekend.

As I reflect on the theme of “becoming,” I can’t help but wonder who or what we are hoping to become. Certainly, the dominant ambition continues to be personal security, wealth, and reputation. This is not a bad thing in and of itself, but over the years I see the limitation of this ambition in terms of the trajectory of a human life, and I have found in myself a deeper yearning. This yearning perhaps may be unique to me, but I think this yearning may be connected to a larger and more universal yearning that each of us feel from time to time. If I had to articulate the yearning, I would say it is a yearning for wholeness and deep confidence in ourselves and circumstances. It is a yearning to truly be ourselves, beyond any limited idea of what that needs to be, any judgement we need to measure up to. It is becoming what we already are, but never noticed before.

I have said in worship once or twice that I feel that the power of worship is that it hands our life back to us, with newfound appreciation, depth, and possibility. We don’t become different people in worship, but rather feel who we already are with new depth and appreciation. We learn how to be in our life and be in our circumstances with both vision and integrity.

Spring is part of this. Spring is the manifestation and blooming of what has been dormant and invisible for a season. It is the outward manifestation of what has been true, but missed, overlooked, and too subtle to notice. It is a joy to witness this blooming, but Spring is not just about flowers – it also includes us. I think our lives bloom too when the appropriate season arrives. Until then, there is a need for a kind of faith/trust that there is something that we are becoming, even if we feel nothing is happening. We are constantly changing, and the whole of life, including the blooming of flowers, is supporting us in this change.

We can’t control the rate of becoming or the rate of change, but we can plant seeds, intentions for our life. It matters what our ambition or drive is, and I think it is really important that we don’t set our sights too low. We should aim to be saints. We should aim to be ourselves. We should aim to see that these are the same thing, even though that is hard to believe or understand.

I look forward to witnessing the “becoming” of our church community in this season, and the individual becoming into your life. I feel such a love in our community during this time while we are still in a pandemic, with hope for change due to the vaccine. We are in the process of

becoming who we are, and we are on our way, whether we feel it or not. Let us feel it. Let us notice it. Let us be grateful for who we are in this season, and who we are becoming.