Rev. Joseph Boyd

The Father is often associated with time, closely related to the Grim Reaper. Father Time holds a scythe in one hand and an hourglass in the other. The message is clear – time is passing swiftly and death is coming near. In light of this image I think the message of our father figures remains clear throughout the ages – with the time you have left, choose the deeper path of living. Take the encouragement you’ve received, and fill in the gaps as you go. The gaps we’ve inherited may be small or quite large, but fill them.

From the beginning, the reception of Father’s Day as a holiday has been deeply ambivalent. In Spain at the end of the 14th Century, Father’s day was created to honor St. Joseph, the father of Jesus. This tradition spread to Latin America, but never caught on in North America. Even in countries where it was observed, Mary remained much more popular than Joseph. The first recorded celebration in America of Father’s day outside of a religious feast was in West Virginia July 5, 1908. Since it was on July 5, Independence Day celebrations overshadowed the first attempt at Father’s Day, and it was forgotten for 2 years.

Two years later in 1910, In Spokane, WA, Jane Dodd wanted to honor her father, a civil war veteran who raised her and her 5 sisters as a single father. She begged her local minister to write a sermon to honor all fathers.The minister repeatedly told her he had more important sermons to write. Finally he gave in on the third Sunday in June, and wrote a sermon for fathers. Jane Dodd took this sermon to Washington DC and implored Woodrow Wilson to make Father’s Day a national holiday. Wilson proposed it to Congress and they blocked it, saying it would eventually become commercialized like Mother’s Day. it wasn’t until 50 years later,  that Lyndon Johnson issued a presidential proclamation making father’s day a national holiday in 1966

I don’t think it was an accident that Father’s Day became a national holiday the same year that the National Organization for Women or NOW was formed at the height of second wave feminism which succeeded in passing legislation that demanded more equal pay for women in the workforce.

It was a time of questioning gender roles, uncovering sexism especially in the workplace, and questioning the traditional role of fathers as sole “breadwinners.”

The role of father has always contained a high degree of ambiguity. Whether we’re talking about St. Joseph who is the father of a child from mysterious origins, or we’re talking about fathers in the 1960’s who are confronted with the question of their role outside of being a provider, a source of financial security, to the current day where it is nearly impossible to be a father or father figure and not be pained hearing stories from the Metoo movement in relation to our partners, our sons, our daughters, our friends.

The role of father, and thus the role of masculinity, seems to be changing generation by generation, constantly re-interpreted and re-evaluated by the social context we find ourselves in. But one message has survived through the generations.

In whatever place or time we find ourselves, the message of our fathers remains clear – don’t give up. Keep going. Keep choosing the deeper path of living. Take your hard life and turn it into a hard life, well lived.

This is the art of growing up. With time and space, we look at our father figures and in the light of our social context, see the life we’ve inherited. We see the life of our fathers, full of ambiguity, and the striving for wholeness. We see the gifts they’ve given us – the qualities and circumstances that have made us who we are. We see from the perspective of the present looking back at the missed opportunities, at a hard life that sometimes missed the deeper path of living. We see our father’s humanity, the love we inherited, and perhaps the love they could never express. We have a chance to see that today. We see the life we’ve inherited, the limitations of a life lived in a particular time, and now the life we’re living with our own limitations and possibilities in this social context. We celebrate the opportunity we have today, on Father’s Day, to choose the deeper path of living.

My father bought me a baseball mitt when I was 6 years old, just as I was entering the first grade. He oiled it for me, so it would open and shut without much resistance. From that day forward, we would play catch at least weekly if the weather was nice. When I think of my father, I think of a baseball mitt.  Years later when I was still a teenager he told me that he never played catch with his father. His father, my grandfather, was always occupied, busy doing something else. He never had time to play catch with him. He was glad he could take time to play catch with me.

My father taught me an important lesson that day. Take the love and encouragement you’ve received and fill in the gaps as you go. The gaps we’ve inherited may be small or quite large but fill them. Fill them. This is the deeper path.