Through the month of October, I’ve kept asking myself, “What do we mean when we talk about courage?” We’ve gotten plenty of examples this month. From the stories of the Wonder Box, to personal examples from members and friends of this congregation. But what is courage really? So to answer this question, I did what I imagine all of you do when you need an answer to a pressing moral question. . . I turned to the Ancient Greeks. Alright, that might just be me. But, it so happens that Aristotle had some interesting things to say on the matter of courage. (And I promise that this will be a sermon and not a philosophy lecture). According to Aristotle, we should talk about a spectrum of behavior. On one side: cowardice. And on the other: brashness or brazenness. Cowardice is giving in to your fears when you should fight to overcome them. Brashness is ignoring fears when they make sense. (I like to think of brashness as encountering a bear in the woods and deciding, despite your fear, to run up and punch it in the snout. That’s probably a bit brash).
Courage then, sits somewhere in the middle of these extremes. We know what it looks like. And I think we often think of it as a masculine virtue. The first reading today, “Courage, Courage, Courage!” was almost certainly written to inspire men, although I think we can all find inspiration in it, regardless of our gender or sex. Many of the first examples of courage that jump to mind feel very masculine. On a foggy June morning in 1944, a soldier sits on a boat, waiting the few remaining hours before he will be storming a beach, headed towards a strongly reinforced German position. The soldier is rightly afraid, but knows in his heart that he has to do this, if there is any chance of the Allies winning this war. Or, maybe the story goes like this: A woman is enjoying an outdoor concert. She’s a big fan of country music and is loving the chance to see some of her favorite artists live in Las Vegas. Suddenly, loud bangs can be heard over the music, and a few moments later everyone is running for their lives. There are little explosions of dirt as bullets slam into the ground and people are falling, from fear and injury. She finds herself a safe place to hide, but can see people out there who aren’t running and aren’t safe. So she risks it, trip after trip, to help those still out on the concert field into safety. These examples feel pretty masculine, right? Danger and violence, adrenaline and testosterone. The kinds of things that inspiring movies get made out of. But courage is more than that.
Just this week I was speaking with someone and in the course of our conversation I asked him about courage. He told me a story about his fiancée, who two years ago was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. The diagnosis was good and bad. Fortunately, aggressive cancers generally respond well to treatment. Unfortunately, the treatment must be frequently taken and has very nasty side effects. He said to me, “my fiancée went to the clinic every three weeks to be injected with what is essentially poison. She knew it would make her feel awful. Nauseated, weak, achy, just horrible. But she went. Time and time again. And she went to have scans done regularly, never knowing what these results might show. It might have gotten better, or worse, or there may have been no change; she would never be sure until those results came in. This cycle, over and over again, until a few months ago, when the tests came back clear of cancer. Now she faces new challenges. As is often the case, her hair fell out as a side effect of chemotherapy. She had a set of wigs that she had gotten used to and liked the look of. Now, cancer free and off of chemo, her hair is growing back. Except, it is curly, where before cancer she had straight hair. And here is the kicker, becoming comfortable with her new hairstyle has been immensely challenging.” At first, we may think this a bit odd. This is a woman who beat cancer and this hair issue should be an easy thing to get past. But she is showing immense courage in overcoming those fears of her own image issues.
Because, this is the rub. At the end of the day, courage is about overcoming our own psychology. When we look at examples of courage, all of them can be compressed to the form, “I was afraid, but …” . . .
I was afraid, but I knew that if I didn’t storm that beach, more people would die, and maybe we’d lose this war.
I was afraid, but I couldn’t just watch people being shot at on the concert field without doing something.
I was afraid, but I knew that I wouldn’t finally beat cancer unless I accepted who I became because of the illness.
We’ve heard this format implied here, in our very sanctuary. Two weeks ago, we heard stories of courage from members and friends of our congregation about coming out to their friends and families. They expressed some fear or concern at how people might react, but felt that they had to be honest with those around them. Did you catch it? The formula, “I was afraid, but…” is there, too.
Last week, we heard a call to “Wade In.” To find those things that make us uncomfortable and go after them. To find ourselves deep in the issues and challenges of our world. In other words, “We are afraid, but we know that we must overcome that fear to make our world a better place.”
So here is my challenge to you – understand that the stress, and the anxiety, and the fear that you feel at times in your life is real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We too often dismiss these feelings because we don’t think they are legitimate. Your feelings are real, even if you think that they are irrational. A child feels real fear and shows real courage when she overcomes the monsters under the bed. . . even if we adults know that there aren’t monsters there. Your fears and worries are real, even if you don’t think they make sense. And you show great courage when you overcome them in pursuit of your goals and of what’s right.
Everyone in this sanctuary has “I was afraid, but” moments in their lives. Everyone in this room has and will have “I am afraid, but” moments. You see, Aristotle had another very important insight. Good people are good by habit. You are a moral person because you act morally by instinct, by second nature. And you become a better person by learning the habits of moral action. Another way to think of this is this . . . A crisis doesn’t make heroes. . . A crisis finds out who the heroes in the room already are. Realize that you are much more courageous than you think. You are facing moments of courage every day and chances are you are brushing them off and not recognizing them. I want you to start noticing them. By noticing your moments of courage, you will reinforce them. . . And in the process you will become more and more courageous.
And, of course, there is just a little event we have going on today, that I would be remiss if I didn’t speak about. This afternoon, our congregation will exercise its power to elect Rev. Joseph into the clergy. We will be declaring to all who will listen, that this man is ready to take the cloth and enter a lifetime of service to the religious and spiritual needs of the congregations and institutions he may serve in his career.
So to you Rev. Joseph. I wish you courage. You are taking up a profession that has you serving people at the best and worst of times and you will need courage for both. At the worst of times, you will be asked to serve as a rock for the suffering. To comfort the dying, and generally to help people out of some of the depths of despair that we unfortunately find ourselves in from time to time. But it isn’t all suffering. You will see people in the best of life, too. And you will need courage then as well. When we are at our best, we usually don’t listen to counsel well. Things are good, so why listen to someone suggesting changes? But there will be times when you will need to temper ambitions and help direct drive, even in the face of opposition. To stand up and oppose a decision someone has made about their own life is tough, but it will sometimes be necessary. You will be right to be afraid in these situations. And you will need courage to do the right thing. Everything I have seen so far leads me to believe you will exceed expectations and I wish you all the best, both here at UUYO and beyond.
So, if my message can be of any help, I leave you with this. Remember the formula: “I am afraid, but…”. Recognize it in your life, past and present, consciously work to act courageously, whether big or small, and together, we can stand up and make the world a better place.
